Finding Savasana

by Erica Turck, Cambodia 300 hour yoga teacher training student

Looking back now at the broken woman who was lying on my mat, I had no clue about the impact that the positive energy radiating from my fellow trainees and teachers would have on me that night. Everything was about to change. If I close my eyes, I can still bring myself back there.  

I was at the Yoga Barn in Ubud, Bali, a little over a year ago, and I was finishing up the first week of 200 hour yoga teacher training with Zuna Yoga. 30 beautiful souls were gathered to dive deep into the study of Yoga for 21 days. The sun had just set. There was an unexplainable stillness that came about during the hours of sunrise and sunset in Bali. The warm evening air filled the second floor studio room that had no walls; which let trees, vines, geckos, monkeys, and all other wild creatures roam freely with us. The lights were dimmed to a golden glow and I became one with the sounds of the cicadas. 

We ended our practice with a few deep hip openers. 

Then, for the first time, I was led into a blissful state of rest... I had found Savasana.  

Savasana (corpse pose) is the final asana of any yoga class. It is meant to be a pose of deep stillness; its level of relaxation is directly correlated with the quality of practice preceding it. Savasana can be broken down into two Sanskrit words. The first being “Sava,” meaning “corpse”, and the second “asana,” meaning “pose.” The pose is entered into by gently lying on your back, arms resting on either side of the body with palms facing up towards the sky, feet hip width apart allowing their outer edges to connect with the mat and earth below. One last scan of the body should be taken; if there are any areas of discomfort this is when you attend to them. Then comes the hard part of the pose; now we must close our eyes, still the mind, and while mimicking a corpse we connect with our breath for the next 10 minutes or so. Thoughts may enter the mind during Savasana, but it is our yogic duty to not cling to those thoughts. We must acknowledge them and then gently release them back into the universe, while then returning to the natural tide of our breath. The best way Savasana has been described to me is as a sort of conscious death, washing away the stains of samskaras (mental and emotional patterns), and allowing you a chance at rebirth. Each time we step on our mats we are being offered a fresh start and time to evolve. Savasana solidifies these new beginnings after each practice. 

I could never find savasana before my teacher training, because until then I was not ready to let go of all the mental impurities. I was not ready to be born anew.

A Zuna Yoga teacher trainee leading the class into savasana.

The sound of our teacher's voice guiding me to this place of peace still warms my soul as I tell this story today. My mind was awake, but I no longer felt the weight of my body. I wanted to open my eyes out of sheer panic. Who was I without this physical body? This is where I would normally pull myself back to my senses. I had a fear of being undefined and of losing control. Until then I was never ready to let go of the illusion that the physical world and my memories had placed on my mind. Funny how yoga shows us that when we let go of trying to control everything, that’s when we actually become our most powerful selves. We become powerful by connecting with our true nature, our purusha (soul, individual self).

If we only allow it, yoga brings us to our own unique light, where we are unbreakable. It is here that we come back to who we were before the world told us who to be. By surrendering to our practice we allow the burdens of the past, future worries, and the physical world to fade away. At first it was like a deep free fall into the great unknown, the universe expanded and the world felt all too large. I found comfort in the guidance of my teacher, I felt safe knowing that my brothers and sisters on the same path to self-realization surrounded me. 

As my first Savasana came to an end, our minds were gently pulled back to the yoga studio. Instructed to keep our eyes closed, we made our way to a meditative seated position. I’m not sure how long it went on for, but we then chanted the sound of Om over and over again. After a while the word began to lose meaning, it only became a feeling. I noticed the changing vibrations throughout my body. These vibrations seeped into every one of my metaphorical internal scars.                                                

In these moments we are being healed.

It was about half way through when I felt the most intense emotion rise up. I fought myself to remain seated; I wanted to run from the room. Tears came pouring from my eyes as I continued to recite the mantra of Om. I suddenly knew that I no longer needed to analyze every past suffering in hopes to eliminate their grasp on me. It wasn’t a cry of sadness or happiness. These feelings didn’t require any explanation. All I know is that they came from a place of gratitude.

Once we awaken the soul, it is there that we are safe. We are free.

The chanting then came to a halt. As our teacher led us back from our journey I tried to silence my sobbing. The room was quiet, but I couldn’t help the gasps from trying to catch my breath. The more I tried to control my crying, the harder it came out. So I just let it all go. As the lights turned on I gazed around me and saw that I was not the only one moved by this experience. I was immediately showered with the hugs, kisses, and positive words from my fellow trainees. Here in this moment my vulnerability was not only accepted, but respected. In the quiet moments of Savasana we can remove the shields of armor we wear because we are petrified to show weakness. In this space there is no need for its protection any longer.           

As I left the studio I walked down the spiraling stairs from the top floor, said goodbye to the koi fish in the pond, and hopped on the back of Eddie's motorcycle with Denise. Three of us yogis crammed on one bike. I should have been holding on for dear life, but I let my arms and legs flail all about as we drove down the busy streets of Ubud. With a huge smile on my face I gazed up, opening my heart toward the sky. I took a deep breath in and then exhaled. I knew in that very moment that everything was just how it was supposed to be. 

Born anew, I was the creator of my destiny. 

May every savasana connect us with our inner light and may we all be blessed with new beginnings in those still moments on our mats. 

Yoga Teacher Training (really) begins

by Lauren Hurst, Cambodia 200 hour yoga teacher training scholarship winner

Lauren takes in the view at the Vine Retreat

Today, Day 5 of our 200 hour yoga teacher training in Cambodia, is when I think the work really begins. 

The first four days were happy, fuzzy and exciting. We're in a new place in a foreign country, at a magical retreat center with a pool, enjoying new friends & delicious food. We have an incredible learning environment to prepare us for what lies ahead. What more could we ask for?

In conversation with many of the other trainees, we agreed that today has felt different. Things have just started happening. There have been upset stomachs, tears and tiredness. This morning I cried during practice and could not really understand why. I kept trying to hide and quiet myself so the others wouldn't notice. I spent the rest of the class trying to figure out why I felt this way, what caused the tears, why I should not be crying, what others were going to think of me… and so on and so on.

At just the right moment, Everett, one of Zuna Yoga's lead facilitators, spoke about this at the beginning of our lecture this morning. He acknowledged and encouraged us to begin to dissociate ourselves from what was taking place, from all the feelings, and to depersonalize it all. These are emotional experiences that have become trapped in our bodies and need an opportunity to release. He spoke about how this is something to let happen, to not be ashamed about, and to begin to observe all that was happening without any judgment. From there forward, just to let all of it go.

Easier said than done? Yes, but that is where the practice of yoga really starts. We have the ability to consciously control our mind, our attachments, and how we ultimately live our lives. A big mission for 21 days at the Vine Retreat, yet I know we have so much opportunity to experience, learn, and transform over the next few weeks.

In our study of the Yoga Sutras, one statement stuck out to me and so I’ll leave you with this: we must find a balance between ‘never give up’ and 'always let go.’

My solo trip to Cambodia for Yoga Teacher Training

by Larissa McDonough, Cambodia 200 hour yoga teacher training student

What an experience, and it really has only just begun. 

Before I left my home in New Zealand to come to Cambodia for my yoga teacher training, I had no comprehension of the emotional journey that traveling alone would be. I thought my biggest concern was whether or not to bring my flatiron (which, for better or worse, I decided against). I felt confident that everything at home would be fine, and everyone would be happy. My daughter is spending the month visiting both sets of grandparents and will no doubt have the most festive Christmas ever. My partner is selling our home while both us girls are away and is happy to do it solo. I (finally) resigned from my job on great terms. I finished my studies last Friday, then threw my daughter a 5th birthday party over the weekend before packing my bags and taking off. Plus, for the first time ever, I had pre­-booked my accommodation, saved enough moolah for the entire trip and even organized an airport pick up. In my mind, I had totally nailed this whole ‘traveling as an adult’ thing, I even called my bestie and travel buddy from my younger days while I was waiting for flight #1, to let her know how grown up I am now. 

Then came flight #2, the big one: Auckland ­to Singapore. I walked into the international airport and literally started trembling. Suddenly, it hit me: "I’m going to Cambodia. ­ALONE." This was quite an obvious consequence of booking a flight for one, but the realization that I was going to have to look after myself in a third world country was momentarily terrifying. This initial shock was then followed by even more shock as I wondered, what had happened to my independence that I fought so hard for in my youth? My fears were calmed by absolute appreciation and gratitude that I have this opportunity, if for nothing else, than to rediscover and enable my independence and trust in my own judgment. They say that life truly begins at the edge of your comfort zone. I just never realized how comfortable I had become. 

These past few days in Phnom Penh have been truly amazing. I'd forgotten how totally crazy the roads are in S.E. Asia. It’s wonderful - scarily entertaining and an absolute adrenaline rush. 

Taking in the sights of Phnom Penh

I did however find myself in the awkward predicament that I couldn’t cross the road. You’re just meant to step out and casually walk across the road trusting that everyone will just drive around you. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I recruited a guy called John (not really his name, but he said John is fine) to be my tuk tuk driver while in Phnom Penh, to take me around and make sure I don’t need to cross the road. It seems bizarre that I could trust this total stranger who barely speaks English more than I trust my own ability to cross the road. But he seemed very kind, and the road seemed very unkind. 

John took me out to the Killing Fields, which are a thirty minute drive out of the city. (Editor's note: this is one of a number of sites in Cambodia where collectively more than a million people were killed and buried by the communist Khmer Rouge regime, during its rule of the country from 1975 to 1979.) The drive was amazing, through all these winding little lanes. People's homes literally spill out on to the street - great inside / outside flow, you could say. The divide here between rich and poor is really hard to fathom. There are absolute ballers with big flash cars worthy of Queenstown’s elite, and then there are families with babies literally sleeping under makeshift tents on the street. It breaks my heart and makes me really question the world. In my culture, it’s a common belief that life doesn’t happen to you, you make life what you want it to be. However, being here, that seems like such a privileged perspective. 

The Killing Fields and Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum provide novice tourists like myself a disturbing and impossibly hard to fathom account of the very recent and horrific history of the Khmer Rouge. I spent the day in tears. The effects of the Khmer Rouge deeply penetrated the entire nation. John’s brother was taken to the Killing Fields. My guide at the Royal Palace said his parents were both disfigured because of the torture they endured. 

My day ended on a much happier note. I met up with a few of the girls from the Zuna Yoga training and went to a Fly Yoga class. A great experience for all us first time acro yogis! Then these beautiful girlies helped me to conquer my fear of crossing the road! On the first two (massive) roads ,Justine and Wendy held my hand, and since then I've begun to master it on my own.

I feel so fortunate for a number of reasons. I am grateful to have had this time to explore this city and learn about the Cambodian culture and its horrific and heart-wrenching history. I have realized how lucky I am to come from New Zealand, but with that gratitude, I also feel this great responsibility to those less fortunate. Lastly I am incredibly grateful to have this opportunity to reconnect with myself and start expanding that comfort zone again. 

Tomorrow morning we all head down to The Vine Retreat for our 200 hour yoga teacher training! I am so incredibly excited! This has been my little beacon of light at the end of what has felt like an incredibly long and somewhat soul destroying tunnel (I’ve been studying commerce i.e. accounting). I feel ready and willing to embark on this journey. I am open to the changes that teacher training will no doubt bring forward and I am excited to let the experience guide and inspire me.

Kay prepares for her Cambodia 300 hour yoga teacher training

by Kay Alton, Cambodia 300 hour yoga teacher training scholarship winner

Kay looks to the future

Last night I taught my final yoga class to the women at Shakopee Correctional Facility in Minnesota. I’ve been teaching at the prison every Monday since May. Every week, I dread the long drive and the uncertainty of whether there will be a shut down when I get there that will cut my two hour class down to 30 minutes. And then every week I get back in my car to go home and I remember why I love yoga so much. Last night was no exception, except my heart was heavy knowing I would probably not return to those women, some of whom I have taught for 7 months. When I leave the prison, I know why I do the work that I do, and I am even clearer about why I need more training. I want to better serve the people who need yoga most. I want to know how and what to teach depending on what the person in front of me is encountering every day in their body and in their world.

While I have a strong conviction of why I’m doing this advanced yoga teacher training, I do have some fears. My first worry is about getting through the first week of intense hours of physical practice. Once I started teaching consistently, my personal practice took a bit of a back seat. I would still practice at home and meditate, but I took fewer classes at studios. More recently, I've been looking at my calendar at the beginning of every week and trying to fit in at least four classes a week, which is hard! There is a lot going on in my life between now and Cambodia. For one thing, I am in the middle of finding replacement teachers for all my positions, especially where I’m working with at risk populations. I am also moving from Minnesota to California, taking a long road trip to get there with multiple stops along the way. And then there's the holidays. It’s hard to think too much past that. I’ve had multiple people ask me if I’m excited about my trip. I on impulse say, “Yes!”, and then realize that I don’t know if it actually feels real yet, because there’s so much between then and now.    
 
When I get the chance to be still and imagine being a student again, I’m all smiles. I’m excited most about learning more about working with certain populations and more details about the therapeutic nature of yoga. I have recently been geeking out on the Anatomy of Yoga book from my 200 hour training. I realize that I am scrutinizing the book more now than I did during my initial training. In some ways, that training was so full of information that it took me a year just to digest it all and come out the other end with greater understanding. I wonder if that is what this upcoming training will be like. I am still chugging away at all the required readings and it is a ton of information. I get anxious at times, worried I won’t remember it all during the training. I then back off and remind myself that it’s ok that I don’t have a photographic memory, and I can always revisit the books like I'm doing now with books from my first training.

I am ready to be surrounded by yogis, jungle, heat, philosophy, mantra, good conversation around good food, ocean and pure, concentrated living. I am also ready to take my yoga to a new level in order to better serve all people, whether behind bars, in wheelchairs or dealing with personal demons. I simply have to jump through a couple more hoops before I can relax into a very, very long flight and into a new chapter of my life.

If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough

by Lauren Hurst, Cambodia 200 hour yoga teacher training scholarship winner

Lauren gathers her reading material for the Cambodia 200YTT

This past May, I devoted some time creating my one year, five year and ten year goals. I did some goal coaching with a coworker at lululemon who told me: ‘If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough.’

My one year goals proved to be the most confronting, as I was now accountable to all the things I wanted to accomplish in the next year. One of them was to travel home to Canada to visit my family, and one of them was to complete a 200 hour yoga teacher training. At the beginning of June I was eager to start making my goals happen. I planned a trip home, and travelled to Canada in August to visit my family after two years of being away from home. I also started researching 200 hour yoga teacher trainings. I knew I wanted to travel somewhere new to complete the training and find a training that excited and inspired me. 

After lots of Google searching for 200 hour yoga teacher trainings, I came across Zuna Yoga and their scholarship program. I had only one week to apply before the application was due, and so I quickly reached out for references and sent through the application. 

I eagerly awaited the outcome of my scholarship application and was so excited, nervous, and speechless when I found out I had won! I remember thinking how amazing it felt to be manifesting my goals into reality. As soon as I wrote my goals on paper, I felt accountable to them, inspired by them and motivated to make things happen.

June seemed like a long time away from December when the yoga teacher training with Zuna Yoga in Cambodia was to start. I had months to read, prepare and just wrap my head around the fact that I was embarking on this next adventure. Well, as we all know: time flies. The beginning of this teacher training has rolled around so quickly and is only days away now. Katherine (one of the lead instructors at Zuna Yoga) asked me yesterday if I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster, and that sums it up perfectly. I feel excited and nervous and slightly unsure about all the learning, challenge, growth, and new opportunities this yoga teacher training will bring. 

Over the last month, there has been a lot to let go of. I have left a job I love for this teacher training opportunity. What comes with that is saying goodbye to people I love and a place that has inspired me, allowed me to grow and supported me in so many ways. I have been constantly learning to become more open, and to be okay with vulnerability and taking chances. I've come to realize that when we are open to trust, change, faith, growth, and new experiences - things work out just the way they are meant to. I know this training has come at a perfectly imperfect time in my life and there is lots for me to learn. I couldn’t have asked for a better opportunity to come my way and this goal has been one of the most meaningful ones for me. 

I anticipate this training will teach me not only how to be more influential yoga teacher, but how to be a more inspired friend, colleague and individual in this world. I have been asking myself: am I ready for this? I’ve come to realize that maybe I may never feel ‘ready’, but I’m as ready as I’ll ever be and I can’t wait to see what this next adventure brings!

Introducing Kay, Cambodia 300 hour yoga teacher training scholarship winner

We're thrilled to introduce you to Kay Alton, winner of a full-tuition scholarship to the January 2016 300 hour yoga teacher training in Cambodia.

Kay was born in Kenya, Africa where she lived until the age of four. Her parents’ non profit work moved the family to Belgium and then Minneapolis, the city she now calls home. She earned Masters degrees in Education and Social Work and has practiced yoga for the past decade. Departing from traditional social work modalities, Kay chose a more holistic approach of honoring the whole self through the wisdom and philosophy of yoga and meditation. In 2014 she completed her 200 hour certification through Radiant Life Yoga and started her own business, Ignite Change Consulting, offering private and group yoga sessions as well as a Mindfulness/Stress Reduction and Yoga class series for high school students. Kay specializes in yoga for depression, anxiety and trauma.

For the past three years, Kay has worked with One Yoga Nonprofit, offering yoga and meditation to incarcerated women and children, immigrants escaping violence at home, homeless families and people suffering from mental illness. Kay also volunteers at the front desk, serves on the outreach and community programs committee, writes grant proposals and spearheads their fundraising efforts.

Kay describes her discovery of the profoundly healing powers of yoga: “I need yoga as much as my students do. I found yoga as a heartbroken, transient, confused woman and it gave me more than my therapist ever could: freedom from the thoughts that were causing my suffering. I have been moved to continue my studies in the realm of trauma informed yoga, as I find myself working more and more with populations with a great need for healing.

“Yoga gave me the opportunity to relate to and be with people on a deeper, more significant neurological and spiritual level. When I was a social worker I was working from a hierarchical platform. As much as I tried to stand side by side with my clients, I was always the gate keeper to something they needed. In yoga, the key is hidden in the body, mind and breath of every person. My task is only to help them see that. They are my teachers, everyday.”

Abundance in Cambodia

Here is the Abundance Bowl at the Backyard Cafe in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. It's packed full of tempeh, spinach, pumpkin seeds, quinoa, homemade red pepper hummus, fermented pickled beetroot, ginger, cashew nut cheese and activated almonds. All vegan, gluten-free and seriously delicious. Even more amazing food options are available at our Cambodia yoga teacher training. 

Yogi on a Mission: The Zuna Yoga teacher training scholarship winner

by Lauren Hurst, winner of a full-tuition scholarship to the December 2015 200 hour Zuna Yoga teacher training in Cambodia 

When I was ten years old my Dad passed away due to a long battle with alcoholism.  As a child, I found it difficult to cope with losing someone so close to me, and I went through my own experience of depression and was very socially withdrawn. Unable to relate to what felt like an unravelling world around me, I came to find solace in being able to control life by restricting my eating and obsessively exercising.  When I looked in the mirror and saw only ugliness- both inside and out.  I felt an overwhelming sense of worthlessness.  “I am not good enough,” rang through my ears every second of everyday, and my biggest fear was to be "fat", because that would mean that I was even less.  This unattainable desire to be perfect, however, did nothing more than return me right back to that same unravelling feeling.  It was a cycle of self-sabotage.  In my eyes I was a failure, and what was worse was that this is how I thought everyone else saw me, too. I soon came face to face with a severe eating disorder that landed me in the inpatient care unit of the hospital for three years. A long battle of ups and downs was ahead of me.  Today, however, I can confidently say that my eating disorder is far behind me. 

Lauren teaching in Sydney

How did I get to a place where that is possible?  My best and honest answer: Yoga. When I was in my first year of university I stumbled across a yoga studio not far from where I was living. I established a regular practice almost immediately. I felt so much vulnerability and fear diving into it all, but the breakthroughs I had then, and continue to experience today, have been life-changing. I allowed the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual practice to completely sink in, and I was hooked.  Yoga has played a meaningful role in reviving my love for my body and myself, just as I am. I have learned and grown so much through my struggles and suffering, but yoga has brought me many joys and successes, as well. Yoga has helped me reach full recovery. Yoga has helped me discover who I am, and to manifest my biggest and scariest dreams, goals, and visions.

Through yoga I have come to know that my purpose is to teach those with similar experiences to my own. I want to teach those who have either an eating disorder, a poor body image, or simply a low sense of self-worth about the lessons I came to find with the practice of yoga. Eating disorders and body issues often work to create disconnection from our body, while yoga helps to encourage body awareness and connection in a nurturing way. Through the practice of yoga we are able to become more of aware of our bodies from a place of respect, acceptance, and love. The lessons I learned from yoga inspired me to participate in a one week long yoga teacher training in 2013. Since then, I have had the amazing opportunity to live and work in New Zealand and Australia, teaching various styles of yoga including hatha, yin, restorative, and power vinyasa. I currently teach at a wonderful little studio in Sydney called Yoga Sivana, and I will continue to grow my teaching schedule once I have completed this intensive 200 hour Zuna Yoga Teacher Training in Cambodia.    

Lauren teaching in Sydney

Combining my Bachelors and Masters of Social Work degrees with my passion for teaching yoga, I have recently launched Love Body Yoga. This is an initiative in partnership with BodyMatters, an eating disorder treatment center that incorporates yoga as an additional step to eating disorder recovery and a pathway to loving our bodies. Love Body Yoga inspires me to share yoga with others, encouraging them to form a healthy and appreciative relationship with their bodies and with themselves. Eventually I will open my own yoga studio and counseling practice. I will work with women with eating disorders by combining social work therapy and the practice of yoga. 

Thanks, Zuna Yoga, for the opportunity to make these goals happen and for enabling me to be a part of this yoga teacher training.

Top Five reasons for a Gili Meno Yoga Teacher Training

by Sammy Garrett, 200 hour Zuna Yoga teacher training graduate

For those of you who haven’t heard of Gili Meno, it is the smallest (and in my opinion the most beautiful) of the three Gili Islands located off the coast of Lombok, Indonesia. Gili Meno offers a tranquil, secluded getaway filled with beaches and nature. What more could you ask for while partaking in an intensive yoga teacher training? It’s a huge blessing that Zuna Yoga offers 200 hour Yoga Teacher Trainings in this piece of paradise. I’m one of the lucky ones who have had the joy to experience the magic first hand. Here are my Top Five reason to put Gili Meno at the top of your Yoga Teacher Training list:

1. No distractions. Imagine a world where you're surrounded by quiet and stillness. Hard to imagine, right? But such a place exists. Gili Meno has no motorized vehicles, no running engines and no honking horns, which is a stark contrast to the rest of Indonesia, even to Bali. Without any crowds (and often without any power), the island has to be one of the most serene and peaceful places I’ve experienced.

2. Sun, sand and snorkeling. The three week yoga teacher training schedule allows for down time throughout the day as well as two full days off. The crystal clear water beckons. Unlimited activities include swimming, sunbathing and snorkeling with the incredible collections of brightly colored fish and friendly turtles that call Gili Meno home. Days at the beach are topped off with a world class sunset.

3. One with nature. The rustic eco accommodation of maoMeno brings luxury and nature together in the perfect mix. Outdoor showers under the stars and an open air yoga shala intensify the whole experience. Surrounded by coconut trees, nature and bird song, maoMeno is the perfect place to deepen your yoga practice.

4. Island life and culture. From the moment you step off the boat there are numerous opportunities to get to know the animated locals and their intriguing way of life. Witness ceremonies, learn the basics of the language and join in the daily island rhythm. After the first week, the locals knew my name and greeted me warmly. Restaurant staff provide top quality service and entertainment - even inviting a group of us dance and ‘jam’ with them.

5. Ocean vibrations and sounds. The ocean's ebb and flow is constantly caressing the island, and the beautiful sound becomes a part of everyday life. Nothing beats the gentle sound of the waves crashing against the shore as you drift to sleep after a long day of asana and meditation practice. I felt so nurtured the entire time I was on the island, this allowed me to go deeper within myself and my practice.

Gili Meno, what’s not to love?

Introducing Lauren, 200 hour Cambodia yoga teacher training scholarship winner

Introducing Lauren Hurst, winner of a full-tuition scholarship to the December 2015 200 hour Zuna Yoga teacher training in Cambodia. 

Lauren holds a Bachelor of Social Work, a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology, and a Masters of Social Work, all obtained in Ontario, Canada. She currently lives in Sydney. Her passion for teaching yoga draws on her academic background and interest in eating disorders and body image issues. Eating and body issues often work to create disconnection from our body, while yoga helps to encourage body awareness and connection in a nurturing way. Through the practice of yoga, Lauren has learned we are able to become more of aware of our bodies from a place of respect, acceptance, and love. This level of awareness has been life-changing for her.

Lauren stumbled upon her first yoga class almost ten years ago, and since then on has found herself at home on her mat. Yoga for her has become a way of life. It has been a gift to the body, mind, and most of all the heart. It has taught her how to love and be loved. She has learnt self-acceptance and that imperfection is perfect. Lauren has come to understand that yoga allows us to believe in something much greater than our own self, connecting us with the universe all around us.

Lauren has launched a brand new initiative with Body Matters Australasia Eating Disorder treatment center, called Love Body Yoga. Love Body Yoga introduces yoga as a step on the journey to eating disorder recovery and a pathway to loving our bodies.

Follow Lauren's yoga teacher training journey as she guest blogs for Zuna Yoga in the coming months.

My Last Day of Yoga Teacher Training

by Katie-Alan Calhoun, September 2015 200 hour Bali yoga teacher training student

It's 5:30 in the morning and I've begun my short walk to the yoga studio. Hanoman Street in Ubud is still peaceful. The sky is dark and there's a slight chill in the air. Shopkeepers are emerging from their quarters, sweeping the sidewalks as they prepare for their day. As I walk to my last class of Zuna Yoga teacher training, a multitude of emotions begins to rush in. I have now spent a month in Bali during what is my first trip outside the United States, and soon I'll be returning home. 

Before coming to Bali, I experienced an astronomical shift in my life. Everything I once knew or had created in my life had been turned upside down. As the wave swept through my reality as I knew it, an immense amount of space was created. Coming to Bali and embarking on this journey with Zuna Yoga was the first step in filling this space with something wonderful and magical.

After years of searching for the right school for my yoga teacher training, I eventually found Zuna Yoga. Reading the mission statement, it was as if I had written it myself. It was love at first sight. Just as the beginning of any relationship, I was cautious, questioning my judgment and ability to make an educated decision. But as the first week came to a close, I knew I was exactly where I needed to be.

Now, it's the last day of training. Everyone in the group is tired from three weeks of transformation of the body and filling the intellect with so much important information. We are tired, but not broken. We are quite possibly the strongest we have ever been, internally and externally. The practice of yoga, after all, is a transformation of the mind and body. It's a process of cleaning away the debris that we have accumulated over time and polishing the raw gems of our souls to discover our true selves. 

As the sky begins to fill with light and warmth, I can't help but smile. So much of this journey to Bali has been about the simple transition between night and day. Light coming into the dark, transforming the perception of our surroundings. Every morning our world transforms. Every day I myself am transforming, learning to let go of what has been and embracing the light of the new day. Learning to let go and have faith in the light, embracing it. Slowly transforming, becoming who I am meant to be. Accepting that sometimes things in your life fall apart in order to fall into place. Letting the spaces be filled. 

The training was extremely knowledgable and powerful. I not only attained the skills necessary to teach a yoga class. I also began to discover who I was as a person and how to live a life of purpose. I discovered how to incorporate tools such as pranayama, meditation and energetics into my life to cultivate happiness and well-being. Getting to know myself and what I am capable of in this lifetime is something I take away from this yoga teacher training and will cherish forever. I am beyond grateful for this experience. Thank you Bali, thank you fellow students, thank you, thank you Zuna Yoga. 

A day of cleansing

by Anna Rhein, Zuna Yoga 500 hour YTT graduate

Bali is an island full of beauty, mystery and spirituality. Recently I made a day trip with friends to the holy water temple, Tampak Siring. It was a short 40 minute motorbike ride from Ubud, and even though it started raining heavily we continued on our journey, and I'm thrilled we did. Riding through the rice paddies, entering into little villages along the way, we stopped to wait for our group and stumbled upon a shop that had beautiful pieces of carved wooden art and jewelry. We all found at least one handmade treasure to take home and agreed the trip was already a success, but we had no idea of the beauty that still lay ahead. 

After the brief stop, we were only 10 minutes away from our destination. As we walked through the entrance, we were all given sarongs to wear, and were shown where to enter into the springs. We were greeted by a spiritual guide who began to tell us how the temple was designed to be enjoyed. 

Tampak Siring temple in Bali

First, we were given an offering and told to sit overlooking the springs while he talked us through a meditation. The sound of the water flowing enveloped us all and we were quickly made aware of how special a place this was. One by one we entered the water, which was waist height. Walking up to each spring, we were told to splash the water three times on our face, sip it in three times, and then sit under it, allowing it to run over our heads while chanting OM for as long as we could before moving on to the next spring. 

Walking from spring to spring, I was unaware of anything else around me. The feeling of the water running over my body, blessing and cleansing, was so powerful. After the first set of springs, there were another two by themselves, which I was told release any negative promises or regrets from your life. The final set of springs were said to clean and clear your chakras, allowing for better health. Even though the water was cold, it was so refreshing and made me feel lighter immediately. After the springs, we were given a tour of the temple and allowed to make additional offerings if we wished before we made our exit. It is the most beautiful temple I have ever visited. I tell anyone I can about it, and hope everyone can some day visit this very special place. I can't wait for my next adventure in this Bali wonderland.

The dance between the light and the dark

by Katie-Alan Calhoun, September 2015 200 hour Bali yoga teacher training student

Hanoman Street

I step out of the taxi, cradling all the belongings that I've packed for the next month. As the cab zooms away, it hits me: I have arrived in Ubud. It's late in the evening and Jalan Hanoman is alive and busy. People rushing to grab drinks with friends, mopeds whipping by, loud noises, bright lights and unfamiliar smells. If there is such thing as a culture shock, this is it. What in the world was this little mountain girl thinking? Grabbing my overly packed bags, I made my way through a dark alley to find my hotel. A local gentleman, seeing me somewhat distressed, asked if I needed assistance. "No, I've got it", I replied, as I looked at him, probably looking very much like a deer in the headlights. Did I really "have this," though? 

I finally reach my room and start to unload, literally and figuratively. All of the stress of traveling had finally reached its boiling point. I'm alone in a foreign country, trying to wrap my head around the month ahead of me. It's dark, unfamiliar and I'm completely spooked. As I curl up under my covers, trying to escape reality, I receive a message from a friend back home. Knowing I was in distress, they send a consoling message: "You're going to be okay. Everything may appear scary now, but tomorrow it will all look different in the light."Holding onto these words as if they were my mantra, I somehow manage to sleep through the night.

Bali courtyard

I roll out of bed the next morning, feeling the heavy hand of jet lag. I take a quick look in the mirror and quickly regret it, cringing. Thirty plus hours on a plane is not a good look for me. I slowly make my way around the room, trying to let go of the unease of the previous night. Suddenly, I hear a noise outside my room, and a voice: "Miss?" I open the wooden double doors and am stunned at what I discover. "Wait, where am I?", I think as I scan my surroundings. I'm looking out at a beautiful courtyard. Birds are singing, the sun is shining, and the aroma of flowers and incense fills the air. I'm in such a state of shock that I completely forget about my little visitor. "Miss, would you like tea and breakfast?" he asks. Tea?! Yes! That is exactly what I need.

How could this be? I'm suddenly enjoying my breakfast in a completely different place than I had entered the night before. Fortified with fresh fruit and tea, I muster up the courage to begin exploring. Ubud is awake and ready for the day. This is not the Bali I had encountered the evening before. Walking the streets I'm becoming familiarized with my surroundings. Smiling faces, wonderful food, shopping, culture, and monkeys! This isn't scary, I think to myself, this is amazing! Day one in Ubud and I have already come to the realization that this is exactly where I need to be. My heart is filled with excitement and yoga teacher training hasn't even begun.

Katie-Alan

Amy Jirsa put it quite beautifully when she said, "Yoga is the dance between the light and the dark within you. The light is what brings you back to the mat and the darkness is what you uncover there. Don't be afraid of this darkness. These are only shadows, and though you'll have to walk down some pretty dark alleys, remember you are grounded in the light, and the light will set you free."

By practicing yoga, we are bringing light to the darkest places within ourselves. Much like my first night in Bali, the dark can be a scary, unforgiving place. It is where your inner demons reside. Your fears, doubts and worst nightmares. But have faith in the light, whether it's  the light inside you or the rising sun of the next day. Our journey in life is all about perspective and how we view our reality. With a little light, our perception can change, just as I began to see my adventure in Ubud very differently.

Your ego is not your amigo, but it's not your enemy either

by Eva Brockschmidt, September 2015 Zuna Yoga 500 hour Bali Yoga Teacher Training student

"Your Ego is Not Your Amigo " - if you're at all familiar with popular yoga culture, chances are you've probably heard this phrase before or even see it splashed across a yoga top somewhere. Personally, I've always found it kind of cheesy. Yet it holds a lot of truth. It also raises some questions, such as what do we really mean by ego? Why does it hurt us, and how can we put it in its proper place?

Ego denotes the idea of a prescribed self-identity – “This is me, I am different.” To some degree, this self-identity or “I-shape” is absolutely necessary. Singularity of body requires singularity of mind, so our ego functions as an identifier which allows us to act in our physical form. Modern psychology even talks about the importance of maintaining a “healthy ego” and suggests that people suffer when their ego is hurt or diminished. 

From a yogic perspective, this suggestion also holds true. Yet instead of ascribing the cause of our pain to some external event, it's believed that the ego itself, this fixed identity that we have given ourselves, is what causes pain.

We have a tendency to take everything that happens personally. It is only when we let go of ego that we realize that in fact, most of life is not personal at all. Whether it's a driver who cuts us off in traffic, a friend who lies to us, or a rude server at a restaurant, these situations are usually a reflection of the other person's internal workings. The driver who is rushing through traffic is probably stressed out. It doesn't matter to him who he cuts off, it just happens to be us. Yet we often take such situations very personally – “how could they do this to me ME?!” In general, frequent use of the "I" and "me" pronouns is a good indication of ego. However, once we start taking situations less personally, we can start to gain control over negative emotions and stop them from running away with us.

Our ego restricts us as we involuntarily filter everything through this fixed identity. Thus it determines not only the way we see ourselves, but also the way we see and perceive others. As a result, we often react in a hostile manner towards things, people and circumstances that do not fit with or challenge our self-prescribed identity. When reality doesn't conform to our views, we begin to struggle and try to rearrange it. In this way, ego clouds our judgment and leads to ignorance (in Yogic philsophy, known as avidya).

Ego is one of the five obstacles which hold us back and prevent us from being truly free. The others are pride, attachment, aversion and fear. However, once we start to overcome the first misperception, whereby we mistake a part of us, our ego, for the whole of our being, we will automatically begin to overcome the other four. They are all offshoots of this original ignorance. 

An intensive yoga teacher training would probably cause many people's egos to crumble. As your practice has progressed, you may have developed this sense of yourself as being “good at yoga.” Maybe you’ve thought of yourself as particularly strong or flexible, now you're suddenly surrounded by people with very strong practices. What's more, you are suddenly asked to undo and relearn everything from the start. Misalignment and other shortcomings are laid bare. If you let ego be in charge, you're likely to react with umbrage and damaged pride. But if you can surrender and remain open to this new information, then it's an incredible learning experience which will leave you completely transformed, not only physically but also mentally. 

Even outside the intense experience of a yoga teacher training, the mat is an ideal place to observe, confront and begin to surrender our fixed self-identity. Ego normally bubbles up pretty quickly during practice, and it can take many different guises: jealous glances to the person next to us, the insistence on always taking the hardest variation of a pose or to do every vinyasa. Sometimes it even feels like the entire practice is driven by the head, pushing and pulling the body to force it into poses it doesn't want to go into. But once we've become aware of ego’s presence, we can surrender it. By bringing our attention back to our body, our breath and this present moment, we can begin to soften into a state of being, rather than thinking. 

We cling to ego because it seems to provide us with the certainty and order that we long for in our lives. Yet the security is a false one. It does not exist. Life itself is inherently uncertain. No one can escape what Pema Chödrön calls “the fundamental ambiguity of being human.” All we can do is learn to live with it. 

This being said, while ego is not our friend, it's certainly not our enemy either. In this world we need a sense of ego, an “I-maker”, in order to be able to differentiate, to know what is us. So it's not about breaking up with our ego completely, which is impossible, but rather about putting it in its proper place, assuring that we are in charge of it rather than the other way around. On the journey of life, we certainly don't want the ego in the driver’s seat, but that doesn't mean that we have to kick it out of the car completely.