Finding Savasana

by Erica Turck, Cambodia 300 hour yoga teacher training student

Looking back now at the broken woman who was lying on my mat, I had no clue about the impact that the positive energy radiating from my fellow trainees and teachers would have on me that night. Everything was about to change. If I close my eyes, I can still bring myself back there.  

I was at the Yoga Barn in Ubud, Bali, a little over a year ago, and I was finishing up the first week of 200 hour yoga teacher training with Zuna Yoga. 30 beautiful souls were gathered to dive deep into the study of Yoga for 21 days. The sun had just set. There was an unexplainable stillness that came about during the hours of sunrise and sunset in Bali. The warm evening air filled the second floor studio room that had no walls; which let trees, vines, geckos, monkeys, and all other wild creatures roam freely with us. The lights were dimmed to a golden glow and I became one with the sounds of the cicadas. 

We ended our practice with a few deep hip openers. 

Then, for the first time, I was led into a blissful state of rest... I had found Savasana.  

Savasana (corpse pose) is the final asana of any yoga class. It is meant to be a pose of deep stillness; its level of relaxation is directly correlated with the quality of practice preceding it. Savasana can be broken down into two Sanskrit words. The first being “Sava,” meaning “corpse”, and the second “asana,” meaning “pose.” The pose is entered into by gently lying on your back, arms resting on either side of the body with palms facing up towards the sky, feet hip width apart allowing their outer edges to connect with the mat and earth below. One last scan of the body should be taken; if there are any areas of discomfort this is when you attend to them. Then comes the hard part of the pose; now we must close our eyes, still the mind, and while mimicking a corpse we connect with our breath for the next 10 minutes or so. Thoughts may enter the mind during Savasana, but it is our yogic duty to not cling to those thoughts. We must acknowledge them and then gently release them back into the universe, while then returning to the natural tide of our breath. The best way Savasana has been described to me is as a sort of conscious death, washing away the stains of samskaras (mental and emotional patterns), and allowing you a chance at rebirth. Each time we step on our mats we are being offered a fresh start and time to evolve. Savasana solidifies these new beginnings after each practice. 

I could never find savasana before my teacher training, because until then I was not ready to let go of all the mental impurities. I was not ready to be born anew.

A Zuna Yoga teacher trainee leading the class into savasana.

The sound of our teacher's voice guiding me to this place of peace still warms my soul as I tell this story today. My mind was awake, but I no longer felt the weight of my body. I wanted to open my eyes out of sheer panic. Who was I without this physical body? This is where I would normally pull myself back to my senses. I had a fear of being undefined and of losing control. Until then I was never ready to let go of the illusion that the physical world and my memories had placed on my mind. Funny how yoga shows us that when we let go of trying to control everything, that’s when we actually become our most powerful selves. We become powerful by connecting with our true nature, our purusha (soul, individual self).

If we only allow it, yoga brings us to our own unique light, where we are unbreakable. It is here that we come back to who we were before the world told us who to be. By surrendering to our practice we allow the burdens of the past, future worries, and the physical world to fade away. At first it was like a deep free fall into the great unknown, the universe expanded and the world felt all too large. I found comfort in the guidance of my teacher, I felt safe knowing that my brothers and sisters on the same path to self-realization surrounded me. 

As my first Savasana came to an end, our minds were gently pulled back to the yoga studio. Instructed to keep our eyes closed, we made our way to a meditative seated position. I’m not sure how long it went on for, but we then chanted the sound of Om over and over again. After a while the word began to lose meaning, it only became a feeling. I noticed the changing vibrations throughout my body. These vibrations seeped into every one of my metaphorical internal scars.                                                

In these moments we are being healed.

It was about half way through when I felt the most intense emotion rise up. I fought myself to remain seated; I wanted to run from the room. Tears came pouring from my eyes as I continued to recite the mantra of Om. I suddenly knew that I no longer needed to analyze every past suffering in hopes to eliminate their grasp on me. It wasn’t a cry of sadness or happiness. These feelings didn’t require any explanation. All I know is that they came from a place of gratitude.

Once we awaken the soul, it is there that we are safe. We are free.

The chanting then came to a halt. As our teacher led us back from our journey I tried to silence my sobbing. The room was quiet, but I couldn’t help the gasps from trying to catch my breath. The more I tried to control my crying, the harder it came out. So I just let it all go. As the lights turned on I gazed around me and saw that I was not the only one moved by this experience. I was immediately showered with the hugs, kisses, and positive words from my fellow trainees. Here in this moment my vulnerability was not only accepted, but respected. In the quiet moments of Savasana we can remove the shields of armor we wear because we are petrified to show weakness. In this space there is no need for its protection any longer.           

As I left the studio I walked down the spiraling stairs from the top floor, said goodbye to the koi fish in the pond, and hopped on the back of Eddie's motorcycle with Denise. Three of us yogis crammed on one bike. I should have been holding on for dear life, but I let my arms and legs flail all about as we drove down the busy streets of Ubud. With a huge smile on my face I gazed up, opening my heart toward the sky. I took a deep breath in and then exhaled. I knew in that very moment that everything was just how it was supposed to be. 

Born anew, I was the creator of my destiny. 

May every savasana connect us with our inner light and may we all be blessed with new beginnings in those still moments on our mats. 

Yoga Teacher Training (really) begins

by Lauren Hurst, Cambodia 200 hour yoga teacher training scholarship winner

Lauren takes in the view at the Vine Retreat

Today, Day 5 of our 200 hour yoga teacher training in Cambodia, is when I think the work really begins. 

The first four days were happy, fuzzy and exciting. We're in a new place in a foreign country, at a magical retreat center with a pool, enjoying new friends & delicious food. We have an incredible learning environment to prepare us for what lies ahead. What more could we ask for?

In conversation with many of the other trainees, we agreed that today has felt different. Things have just started happening. There have been upset stomachs, tears and tiredness. This morning I cried during practice and could not really understand why. I kept trying to hide and quiet myself so the others wouldn't notice. I spent the rest of the class trying to figure out why I felt this way, what caused the tears, why I should not be crying, what others were going to think of me… and so on and so on.

At just the right moment, Everett, one of Zuna Yoga's lead facilitators, spoke about this at the beginning of our lecture this morning. He acknowledged and encouraged us to begin to dissociate ourselves from what was taking place, from all the feelings, and to depersonalize it all. These are emotional experiences that have become trapped in our bodies and need an opportunity to release. He spoke about how this is something to let happen, to not be ashamed about, and to begin to observe all that was happening without any judgment. From there forward, just to let all of it go.

Easier said than done? Yes, but that is where the practice of yoga really starts. We have the ability to consciously control our mind, our attachments, and how we ultimately live our lives. A big mission for 21 days at the Vine Retreat, yet I know we have so much opportunity to experience, learn, and transform over the next few weeks.

In our study of the Yoga Sutras, one statement stuck out to me and so I’ll leave you with this: we must find a balance between ‘never give up’ and 'always let go.’

My solo trip to Cambodia for Yoga Teacher Training

by Larissa McDonough, Cambodia 200 hour yoga teacher training student

What an experience, and it really has only just begun. 

Before I left my home in New Zealand to come to Cambodia for my yoga teacher training, I had no comprehension of the emotional journey that traveling alone would be. I thought my biggest concern was whether or not to bring my flatiron (which, for better or worse, I decided against). I felt confident that everything at home would be fine, and everyone would be happy. My daughter is spending the month visiting both sets of grandparents and will no doubt have the most festive Christmas ever. My partner is selling our home while both us girls are away and is happy to do it solo. I (finally) resigned from my job on great terms. I finished my studies last Friday, then threw my daughter a 5th birthday party over the weekend before packing my bags and taking off. Plus, for the first time ever, I had pre­-booked my accommodation, saved enough moolah for the entire trip and even organized an airport pick up. In my mind, I had totally nailed this whole ‘traveling as an adult’ thing, I even called my bestie and travel buddy from my younger days while I was waiting for flight #1, to let her know how grown up I am now. 

Then came flight #2, the big one: Auckland ­to Singapore. I walked into the international airport and literally started trembling. Suddenly, it hit me: "I’m going to Cambodia. ­ALONE." This was quite an obvious consequence of booking a flight for one, but the realization that I was going to have to look after myself in a third world country was momentarily terrifying. This initial shock was then followed by even more shock as I wondered, what had happened to my independence that I fought so hard for in my youth? My fears were calmed by absolute appreciation and gratitude that I have this opportunity, if for nothing else, than to rediscover and enable my independence and trust in my own judgment. They say that life truly begins at the edge of your comfort zone. I just never realized how comfortable I had become. 

These past few days in Phnom Penh have been truly amazing. I'd forgotten how totally crazy the roads are in S.E. Asia. It’s wonderful - scarily entertaining and an absolute adrenaline rush. 

Taking in the sights of Phnom Penh

I did however find myself in the awkward predicament that I couldn’t cross the road. You’re just meant to step out and casually walk across the road trusting that everyone will just drive around you. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I recruited a guy called John (not really his name, but he said John is fine) to be my tuk tuk driver while in Phnom Penh, to take me around and make sure I don’t need to cross the road. It seems bizarre that I could trust this total stranger who barely speaks English more than I trust my own ability to cross the road. But he seemed very kind, and the road seemed very unkind. 

John took me out to the Killing Fields, which are a thirty minute drive out of the city. (Editor's note: this is one of a number of sites in Cambodia where collectively more than a million people were killed and buried by the communist Khmer Rouge regime, during its rule of the country from 1975 to 1979.) The drive was amazing, through all these winding little lanes. People's homes literally spill out on to the street - great inside / outside flow, you could say. The divide here between rich and poor is really hard to fathom. There are absolute ballers with big flash cars worthy of Queenstown’s elite, and then there are families with babies literally sleeping under makeshift tents on the street. It breaks my heart and makes me really question the world. In my culture, it’s a common belief that life doesn’t happen to you, you make life what you want it to be. However, being here, that seems like such a privileged perspective. 

The Killing Fields and Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum provide novice tourists like myself a disturbing and impossibly hard to fathom account of the very recent and horrific history of the Khmer Rouge. I spent the day in tears. The effects of the Khmer Rouge deeply penetrated the entire nation. John’s brother was taken to the Killing Fields. My guide at the Royal Palace said his parents were both disfigured because of the torture they endured. 

My day ended on a much happier note. I met up with a few of the girls from the Zuna Yoga training and went to a Fly Yoga class. A great experience for all us first time acro yogis! Then these beautiful girlies helped me to conquer my fear of crossing the road! On the first two (massive) roads ,Justine and Wendy held my hand, and since then I've begun to master it on my own.

I feel so fortunate for a number of reasons. I am grateful to have had this time to explore this city and learn about the Cambodian culture and its horrific and heart-wrenching history. I have realized how lucky I am to come from New Zealand, but with that gratitude, I also feel this great responsibility to those less fortunate. Lastly I am incredibly grateful to have this opportunity to reconnect with myself and start expanding that comfort zone again. 

Tomorrow morning we all head down to The Vine Retreat for our 200 hour yoga teacher training! I am so incredibly excited! This has been my little beacon of light at the end of what has felt like an incredibly long and somewhat soul destroying tunnel (I’ve been studying commerce i.e. accounting). I feel ready and willing to embark on this journey. I am open to the changes that teacher training will no doubt bring forward and I am excited to let the experience guide and inspire me.

Kay prepares for her Cambodia 300 hour yoga teacher training

by Kay Alton, Cambodia 300 hour yoga teacher training scholarship winner

Kay looks to the future

Last night I taught my final yoga class to the women at Shakopee Correctional Facility in Minnesota. I’ve been teaching at the prison every Monday since May. Every week, I dread the long drive and the uncertainty of whether there will be a shut down when I get there that will cut my two hour class down to 30 minutes. And then every week I get back in my car to go home and I remember why I love yoga so much. Last night was no exception, except my heart was heavy knowing I would probably not return to those women, some of whom I have taught for 7 months. When I leave the prison, I know why I do the work that I do, and I am even clearer about why I need more training. I want to better serve the people who need yoga most. I want to know how and what to teach depending on what the person in front of me is encountering every day in their body and in their world.

While I have a strong conviction of why I’m doing this advanced yoga teacher training, I do have some fears. My first worry is about getting through the first week of intense hours of physical practice. Once I started teaching consistently, my personal practice took a bit of a back seat. I would still practice at home and meditate, but I took fewer classes at studios. More recently, I've been looking at my calendar at the beginning of every week and trying to fit in at least four classes a week, which is hard! There is a lot going on in my life between now and Cambodia. For one thing, I am in the middle of finding replacement teachers for all my positions, especially where I’m working with at risk populations. I am also moving from Minnesota to California, taking a long road trip to get there with multiple stops along the way. And then there's the holidays. It’s hard to think too much past that. I’ve had multiple people ask me if I’m excited about my trip. I on impulse say, “Yes!”, and then realize that I don’t know if it actually feels real yet, because there’s so much between then and now.    
 
When I get the chance to be still and imagine being a student again, I’m all smiles. I’m excited most about learning more about working with certain populations and more details about the therapeutic nature of yoga. I have recently been geeking out on the Anatomy of Yoga book from my 200 hour training. I realize that I am scrutinizing the book more now than I did during my initial training. In some ways, that training was so full of information that it took me a year just to digest it all and come out the other end with greater understanding. I wonder if that is what this upcoming training will be like. I am still chugging away at all the required readings and it is a ton of information. I get anxious at times, worried I won’t remember it all during the training. I then back off and remind myself that it’s ok that I don’t have a photographic memory, and I can always revisit the books like I'm doing now with books from my first training.

I am ready to be surrounded by yogis, jungle, heat, philosophy, mantra, good conversation around good food, ocean and pure, concentrated living. I am also ready to take my yoga to a new level in order to better serve all people, whether behind bars, in wheelchairs or dealing with personal demons. I simply have to jump through a couple more hoops before I can relax into a very, very long flight and into a new chapter of my life.

If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough

by Lauren Hurst, Cambodia 200 hour yoga teacher training scholarship winner

Lauren gathers her reading material for the Cambodia 200YTT

This past May, I devoted some time creating my one year, five year and ten year goals. I did some goal coaching with a coworker at lululemon who told me: ‘If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough.’

My one year goals proved to be the most confronting, as I was now accountable to all the things I wanted to accomplish in the next year. One of them was to travel home to Canada to visit my family, and one of them was to complete a 200 hour yoga teacher training. At the beginning of June I was eager to start making my goals happen. I planned a trip home, and travelled to Canada in August to visit my family after two years of being away from home. I also started researching 200 hour yoga teacher trainings. I knew I wanted to travel somewhere new to complete the training and find a training that excited and inspired me. 

After lots of Google searching for 200 hour yoga teacher trainings, I came across Zuna Yoga and their scholarship program. I had only one week to apply before the application was due, and so I quickly reached out for references and sent through the application. 

I eagerly awaited the outcome of my scholarship application and was so excited, nervous, and speechless when I found out I had won! I remember thinking how amazing it felt to be manifesting my goals into reality. As soon as I wrote my goals on paper, I felt accountable to them, inspired by them and motivated to make things happen.

June seemed like a long time away from December when the yoga teacher training with Zuna Yoga in Cambodia was to start. I had months to read, prepare and just wrap my head around the fact that I was embarking on this next adventure. Well, as we all know: time flies. The beginning of this teacher training has rolled around so quickly and is only days away now. Katherine (one of the lead instructors at Zuna Yoga) asked me yesterday if I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster, and that sums it up perfectly. I feel excited and nervous and slightly unsure about all the learning, challenge, growth, and new opportunities this yoga teacher training will bring. 

Over the last month, there has been a lot to let go of. I have left a job I love for this teacher training opportunity. What comes with that is saying goodbye to people I love and a place that has inspired me, allowed me to grow and supported me in so many ways. I have been constantly learning to become more open, and to be okay with vulnerability and taking chances. I've come to realize that when we are open to trust, change, faith, growth, and new experiences - things work out just the way they are meant to. I know this training has come at a perfectly imperfect time in my life and there is lots for me to learn. I couldn’t have asked for a better opportunity to come my way and this goal has been one of the most meaningful ones for me. 

I anticipate this training will teach me not only how to be more influential yoga teacher, but how to be a more inspired friend, colleague and individual in this world. I have been asking myself: am I ready for this? I’ve come to realize that maybe I may never feel ‘ready’, but I’m as ready as I’ll ever be and I can’t wait to see what this next adventure brings!

Introducing Kay, Cambodia 300 hour yoga teacher training scholarship winner

We're thrilled to introduce you to Kay Alton, winner of a full-tuition scholarship to the January 2016 300 hour yoga teacher training in Cambodia.

Kay was born in Kenya, Africa where she lived until the age of four. Her parents’ non profit work moved the family to Belgium and then Minneapolis, the city she now calls home. She earned Masters degrees in Education and Social Work and has practiced yoga for the past decade. Departing from traditional social work modalities, Kay chose a more holistic approach of honoring the whole self through the wisdom and philosophy of yoga and meditation. In 2014 she completed her 200 hour certification through Radiant Life Yoga and started her own business, Ignite Change Consulting, offering private and group yoga sessions as well as a Mindfulness/Stress Reduction and Yoga class series for high school students. Kay specializes in yoga for depression, anxiety and trauma.

For the past three years, Kay has worked with One Yoga Nonprofit, offering yoga and meditation to incarcerated women and children, immigrants escaping violence at home, homeless families and people suffering from mental illness. Kay also volunteers at the front desk, serves on the outreach and community programs committee, writes grant proposals and spearheads their fundraising efforts.

Kay describes her discovery of the profoundly healing powers of yoga: “I need yoga as much as my students do. I found yoga as a heartbroken, transient, confused woman and it gave me more than my therapist ever could: freedom from the thoughts that were causing my suffering. I have been moved to continue my studies in the realm of trauma informed yoga, as I find myself working more and more with populations with a great need for healing.

“Yoga gave me the opportunity to relate to and be with people on a deeper, more significant neurological and spiritual level. When I was a social worker I was working from a hierarchical platform. As much as I tried to stand side by side with my clients, I was always the gate keeper to something they needed. In yoga, the key is hidden in the body, mind and breath of every person. My task is only to help them see that. They are my teachers, everyday.”

Abundance in Cambodia

Here is the Abundance Bowl at the Backyard Cafe in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. It's packed full of tempeh, spinach, pumpkin seeds, quinoa, homemade red pepper hummus, fermented pickled beetroot, ginger, cashew nut cheese and activated almonds. All vegan, gluten-free and seriously delicious. Even more amazing food options are available at our Cambodia yoga teacher training.